1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. To prevent falling off a tall ladder, tie one end of a rope around a rafter and the other end around your neck.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the shower.

6. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

7. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. To prevent falling off a tall ladder, tie one end of a rope around a rafter and the other end around your neck.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the shower.

6. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

7. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

8. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Thanks, my Friend!

Now it's TGIF!

Mornin JC! Another week is upon us, another weeks crunching to be done!

Yes too quickly, and it seems to be getting faster!