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World Community Grid Forums
Category: Community
Forum: Chat Room
Thread: A Few Jokes to Brighten Up Your Day |
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Thread Status: Active Total posts in this thread: 172
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Latin is comming back into our everyday life.
VENI, VEDI, VISA now has a new meaning: I came, I saw, I shopped. A laugh and a half graham - I noticed people don't usually comment jokes, however the read/write ratio is huuuge! |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor.
Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items. |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
This is not a joke, but if you will have an absolute ball trying to copy it:
http://www.tonto-online.com/funny/TShirtFolding.mpg |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
and for all you corporate dudes - here is a FREE lesson on what not to do!
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2005/bacardi-laugh-p1.php |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Two Irish guys walk out of a bar…
What? It could happen! |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?"
"No, I am an undercover detective." "So why are you in uniform?" "Today is my day off." |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
A 75 year old woman goes to the doctor and tells him she needs some birth control pills and the doctor looks at herand says ma'am your 75 years old why would you need birth control pills?
----------------------------------------She tells him you see they help me sleep at night. The doctor is still confused and says how could they possibly help you sleep at night? She looks at him and says well I put them in my grand daughters orange juice every morning. [Edit 1 times, last edit by Former Member at Aug 5, 2005 11:00:37 PM] |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
"I guess I didn't get my birthday wish."
"How do you know?" "You're still here!" |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
On a shopping trip to the city a backwoods farmer bought a 24-piece jigsaw puzzle. He worked on it every night for two weeks. Finally, the puzzle was finished.
"Look what I've don, Jess," he said proudly to a visiting neighbor. "That's surely somethin', Willard. How long did it take you?" "Only two weeks." "Never done a puzzle myself," Jess said. "Is two weeks fast?" "Darn tootin'," Willard said. "Look at the box. It says, 'From two to four years." |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Q: What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown?
A: Artificial intelligence. Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet. Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on? A: Because it said, ''Sorry, try again.'' Q: What's the advantage of having a blonde as a girlfriend? A: You get to park in handicapped zones. |
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